Own Your Mess
Owning your mess is basically taking responsibility when you are wrong or when what ever issue falls back to you because you are at the bottom of the pile. Some would call it Integrity. Here is a characteristic that really separates the leaders from the rest of the pack. Do what you say and say what you mean, may be a start but it isn't always enough.
How often do you hear yourself say "I'm sorry" when you misunderstood someone or unintentionally said the wrong thing? It seems the act of The Sincere Apology has almost completely disappeared from the American culture. Every government official or CEO caught doing whatever they do have been consistent with the teachings of deny, deny, deny. Now for the past few generations few seem to be adult enough to take responsibility for their actions what ever those actions may be. So why are we surprised when our children pick up those same habits? Why wouldn't they?
The workplace is a good arena to view how we may handle conflict. Let me use one of my own personal issues quick-to-anger as an EXAMPLE:
There's a fire storm at the job, a miscommunication or a dropped ball we all know what it's like. Over a period of time long or short I find my project has been undermined... again... by the same individual. Now there was a time when my level of emotional maturity did not allow such planning or forethought. However; I began to put my thoughts, anger included written in 2 separate letters. One is what I think should be said while the other is what I really, really want to say... the emotional one. It is important to take note of what I THINK and what I FEEL...
Over a 3 to 5 day period (max 5 days) I may reread what I've written several times attempting to get a handle not on the situation itself but on how I feel about it all. But at the end of day 5 both letters or at least the emotional letter is deleted from all existence, never to be read again by me or by anyone else. From there I move on emotionally regardless of any outcome.
Generally within that 3 to 5 days I obtain more of a back story on why, what and who. I don't always go searching for information as often, it just comes to me from office talk or a misplaced memo. Much of the time the new details change my perception and in many cases not only was I wrong but I may need to Own My Mess and could very well owe someone an apology. This is why I never take action based on the emotional letter. But use it to quickly move through frustration and anger.
The reason for deleting the professional letter is because it generally won't fare any better than the emotional one. So over a short period of time I organize my thoughts and emotions to work out whatever it is in person, verbally, professionally and with as much respect as I can muster. I'm one of those people who can hold a grudge so for me this process is not an option. As a leader of adults in a work environment it is mandatory that I set an example for my team by working things out verbally, in person and out loud. However; if warranted I'll rewrite letter number one, condensing it down to the bare facts. Only then will I make my thoughts public.
Emotional maturity grows within as we push ourselves into true leadership by being the person everyone can count on to be fair, balanced, respectful and approachable. When you admit your mistakes, people may not like you but they will have increased respect for you, whether or not it can be seen on the outside.
Bruce P Collard: https://sites.google.com/site/brucepcollard/my-story
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bruce_Collard
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