Self-Centeredness Is The Root Of My Problems

By Tim J Skalski

It has been a little over four years now since I started to learn the meaning of self-centeredness. The essence of this word is being totally self-absorbed and unable to see the 'forest for the trees', or more simply put, to have concern only for my plans, designs, and various agendas if you will. It has meant many years of thinking only of myself and becoming unable to have compassion and empathy for others. Not caring about my brothers and sisters welfare or situations that they may be going through. And by brothers and sisters I mean my fellow human beings. It has also meant just being concerned about my own pleasures and how to acquire them, and generally thinking that the whole world revolves around me.

The funny thing about self-centeredness is that we all start out in life this way. We are born helpless and totally dependent upon others for every need that we have to be met. And that is the cycle of life, if you will. We are naturally at the center of the universe and all those involved in any way with us at this stage of life naturally will cater to all of our needs. Without our even trying, we command and receive more than an abundance of attention and love. And rightly so.

But unfortunately as we grow older this being at the center of everything begins to change. We find out that there are others who also have the same basic human rights, wants, and desires. Suddenly I find that I'm not the most important person that has ever drawn a breath of life.

Shocking at first, when I discovered this, and my first reaction to this was one of anger, disbelief, self-pity, and a host of other negative human emotions. After all I had become quite used to everything being all about me. It is then, at this point, that we all eventually arrive at, that circumstances began to change.

As a result of my own selfishness and self-centeredness, I would continually try to force my own will upon others in various ways, all in order to get what I wanted, or what I think I wanted or needed. Of course the outcome of all this led to nothing but futility and discontentment for me. As well as creating strained or broken relationships with others at home, in the workplace, and in my social circles. So slowly I began to see that my 'self', selfishness and again self-centeredness, was becoming a liability rather than an asset. I was living life on a basis of unsatisfied demands and I had become very unhappy and angry, to say the least.

When I began to finally see and know this, with the help of others that were put in my path, I decided that this had to change. So that's what I began to do. And through prayer and grace from above, it did begin to happen. I did begin to change my selfish, all about me, outlook upon life. And of course I am extremely grateful for that. But also I have learned that being rid of 'self' doesn't happen all at once. I must daily seek the help I need to be free from me.

But for me, in the end, it was my own pride, or false pride, that was the biggest block to making progress in being set free from the bondage of self.

One of the greatest lessons I have learned in life.

You can visit my website at http://www.selfdenial1018.wordpress.com if you are interested in more writings on the more important things that continue to make up my life. Thank You.

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